the sexy poets den: March 2009

Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Greatest signs ever!

this one cracks me up cuz the dude has no legs. haha

I guess this is what I get for living in the bible belt. I was soooo looking forward to the Osbournes Reloaded on FOX tonight after American Idol. It was set on my TIVO and everything. I got done watching my other show and flipped it on. What do I find? A fucking re-run of Seinfeld. I like Seinfeld but, hello???? FOX has been promoting this show for 2 months now. What a fucking jip.. I am praying that they re-run it on FOX-reality channel.

A funny fucking letter.. (just hadda share it)

This is an actual letter from an Austin woman sent to American company
Proctor and Gamble regarding their feminine products. She really gets
rolling after the first paragraph. It's PC Magazine's 2007 editors' choice
for best webmail-award-winning letter.

Dear Mr. Thatcher,

I have been a loyal user of your 'Always' maxi pads for over 20 years and I
appreciate many of their features. Why, without the LeakGuard Core or
Dri-Weave absorbency, I'd probably never go horseback riding or salsa
dancing, and I'd certainly steer clear of running up and down the beach in
tight, white shorts. But my favorite feature has to be your revolutionary
Flexi-Wings. Kudos on being the only company smart enough to realize how
crucial it is that maxi pads be aerodynamic. I can't tell you how safe and
secure I feel each month knowing there's a little F-16 in my pants.

Have you ever had a menstrual period, Mr. Thatcher? I'm guessing you
haven't. Well, my time of the m onth is starting right now. As I type, I can
already feel hormonal forces violently surging through my body. Just a few
minutes from now, my body will adjust and I'll be transformed into what my
husband likes to call 'an inbred hillbilly with knife skills.' Isn't the
human body amazing?

As Brand Manager in the Feminine Hygiene Division, you've no doubt seen
quite a bit of research on what exactly happens during your customer's
monthly visits from 'Aunt Flo'. Therefore, you must know about the bloating,
puffiness, and cramping we endure, and about our intense mood swings, crying
jags, and out-of-control behavior. You surely realize it's a tough time for
most women.

The point is, sir, you of all people must realize that America is just
crawling with homicidal maniacs in Capri pants . . which brings me to the
reason for my letter. Last month, while in the throes of cramping so painful
I wanted to reach inside my body and yank out my uterus, I opened an Always
maxi-pad, and there, printed on the adhesive backing, were these words:
'Have a Happy Period.'

Are you f------ kidding me? What I mean is, does any part of your tiny
middle-manager brain really think happiness - actual smiling, laughing
happiness, is possible during a menstrual period? Did anything mentioned
above sound the least bit pleasurable? Well, did it, James? FYI, unless
you're some kind of sick S&M freak, there will never be anything 'happy'
about a day in which you have to jack yourself up on Motrin and Kahlua and
lock yourself in your house just so you don't march down to the local
Walgreen's armed with a hunting rifle and a sketchy plan to end your life in
a blaze of glory.

For the love of God, pull your head out of your ***, man! If you have to
slap a moronic message on a maxi pad, wouldn't it make more sense to say
something that's actually pertinent, like 'Put down the Hammer' or
'Vehicular Manslaughter is Wrong'.

Sir, please inform your Accounting Department that, effective immediately,
there will be an $8 drop in monthly profits, for I have chosen to take my
maxi-pad business elsewhere. And though I will certainly miss your
Flex-Wings, I will not for one minute miss your brand of condescending
bullshit. And that's a promise I will keep always.

Best,

Wendi Aarons
Austin , TX

Tornado pics taken by friends and neighbors.

unfortunately this house had a tree fall in. it still amazes me that even 4 days later, you can still smell all the fresh pine in the air.

you'll be happy to know that this house was left untouched.

this pic was taken within my subdivision. it is 2 houses away from mine.

this one was taken by my friend Sue who lives on the other side of I95. (2 minutes away)

the next 2 pics were taken by the owner of the daycare where my kids were during the first tornado. (about 2 or so miles from my home)

another subdivision next to mine.

this was taken by neighbors who were on I95 heading home.

Pictures of damage from the Tornado.

the woods behind my house. (this is all the junk i had to clean up the next day, as well as the roof of my house)

all the yellow stuff in these pics is insulation from houses that got hit

this tree was HUGE!

this is the bottom of the same tree.

this poor house.. they have been working so hard to build this house only to now backtrack and start alot of it all over again.

the main house wasn't badly damaged but their neighbors shed was thrown into this yard at the house.

these were some trailers that people put on their property that took a hard hit. (their main houses were barely touched) just some roof tiles missing.