some naughty old limericks

There once was a girl named Alice
who used a dynamite stick for a phallis
They found her vagina, in South Carolina
and bits of her tits in Dallas


There once was a man named Dave
who found a lost whore in a cave
She was ugly as shit, and minus one tit
but think of the money he saved

There once was a lady from Wheeling
who claimed she lacked sexual feeling
Till a man named Boris, mearly touched her clitoris
and she had to be scraped off the ceiling

There once was a hooker named Sue
who filled her vagina with glue
When they paid to get in, she said with a grin
you must pay to get out of it too

There once was an artist named Saint
who swallowed some samples of paint
All shades of the spectrum, flowed out of his rectum
with a colourful lack of restraint

There once was a man named Kent
whose dick was so long that it bent
To save himself trouble, he stuck it in double
but instead of coming, he went